Sucks to be you, if you can't see this xD

Hi! My name is Emily!

(My business name is Elouise Elizabeth-Ann Swann
but I am saving financially to change my name legally in 2018.)

Emsie Bemsie to Bex, Emily to friends and family,
and Emma, Ellie and ETC to onlineys.

Phew! Nice to meet you!


I am a 27yr old lifestyle blogger from Hertfordshire, England, UK.


Facts About Me

  • Birthday – I am a Scorpio, born on Sunday 28th October 1990, between 2-3pm.
  • Home – I grew up and lived in Harpenden for most of my life, and have also resided in Luton and St Albans.
  • Education – I was home educated from the age of 6, due to dissociation and learning problems.
  • Pets – I was raised in the country, surrounded by guinea pigs, rabbits, rats and mice. We also had a border/rough collie cross called Luke, and budgies Ben and Lucy.
  • Dreams – I have been determined to write a book since the age of 7, and have been developing stories and characters ever since.
  • Work – I have worked for big company names such as Cancer Research, Oxfam, Clinton Cards, CEX and Amazon driving and helping to drive sales with excellent customer service, communication skills and consistent sales training.


Image may contain: 1 person, outdoor

Home Life

I currently live with my lovely female gamer housemate, in a nice, warm modern flat
that was refurbished prior to our arrival, and later furnished with white Ikea furniture.

We talk psychology, watch Youtube, Twitch, Amazon, Netflix and Anime together,
share Dominoes pizzas, steal each other’s socks, visit our friends, feed the local ducks
and fish at Maidenhead Aquatics, go swimming at Westminster Lodge and spend time at the spa.

We also like discussing random film, game and TV show theories, conspiracies
and stupid memes – especially if Harry Potter, Sherlock (BBC) or Lord Of The Rings are involved! ;P

I work full time, despite having severe depression and flashbacks, blog, support
others as a listener on 7cups.com, and try and help others within the community.




  • I use creative writing and artwork help me understand (and work with) my depression, anxiety and past. I like human interest stories, and realistic fantasy; I analyse books, music and art to develop characters of my own.

    I then sponsor my Peruvian illustrator to create content for me, to provide excellent work and CV building opportunities.

  • I game with my housemate on my Sony PS3 Azurite Blue 500GB console, and Windows 10 and Windows 7 computers. I mobile game on my Lenovo Tablet 2 A7-30DC, and draw with my Wacom graphics tablet.

    I also like to sponsor and chill out with YouTubers live streaming, the good Visitor-Friendly ones to make connections.

  • I like to use Ebay, Freecycle, and bargain hunt on Amazon, CEX, Facebook, shops and markets to either make money, help the community out or furnish our flat when money is short.
  • I love pretty perfume bottles and Swarovski glass art, and would collect them if I had the room and the money.

    My childhood dream has been to one day own an official I Dream Of Jeannie bottle from JeannieBottles.com


Weird Facts About Me

  • Due to depression and stress, I have slight short term memory loss which I have learned to live and work with.
    However I have a photographic memory that can recall images back to the age of 2-3yrs.

My first VHS when I was 3yrs old were Playdays and this exact Mr Blobby. I had these Mr Men curtains in my small boxroom bedroom, and my sister owned a tiny pink handheld piano that played tunes.

I remember sitting outside in the Nursery garden when Buster (my mum’s brown British Giant rabbit) came to visit. I remember doing finger painting and having blue/pink metal frog hair clips in my hair, my first pair of Clarks school shoes with tiny gold crowns on the bottom and frogs inside.

I remember my first lunchbox which was Fuschia with the sitting down Beauty And The Beast version on the front. I was then jealous of my friend who had this exact one, even though I adored mine too.

I remember a dream of a sugary pink town that I had once when I was happy, and Rufus (the Junior’s teacher’s black Abyssinian guinea pig) being pulled about in a toy cart behind us and loving it.

I remember that Willows Farm used to be called Bowmans Farm, and that they had a big bull outside called William, who was the children’s favourite. We always had to say hello to William before we left, and I would wonder about him at night.

I remember reading (and enjoying) The Hundred And One Dalmatians by Dodie Smith so much, that I had memorised all of the first seven or eight chapters word for word off by heart. When I was bored and didn’t have access to my books, I would start reading it in my head!

  • I am terribly OCD with things being ‘organised’ and in alphabetical order, or by group type.
  • I find eggs calming; the shape, the texture and the colour. They remind me of the country, and Spring which brings new baby animals, and fresh hope.
  • My first cartoon ‘crush’ was Corky from The Snorks LOL. Which incidentally was way more educational than the dumb old Smurfs – which irritatingly everyone seems to love ¬_¬; The Snorks was based under the sea (which was f* amazing.) My favourite episode was Robosnork, and Top Cat was literally my second most favourite cartoon.

    I also had (and still do) have a thing for Waylon Smithers from The Simpsons. I always loved the bad boys, and my favourite episodes were always the ones with either Mr Burns and Smithers in, or Sideshow Bob and Krusty.



Mr Squeaks RIP: 1996-1999